.
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Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
I have absolutely no idea… Part II
Hmmm.. where did I stop… Oh yeah.. to continue with my summary:
3) If he wants to start dating seriously-
This is where things can get a little bit sticky if you cannot / will not / do not handle it carefully. It’s definitely more than a casual affair, and obviously not an ONS (or SNS – several nite stands). You suddenly find yourself having to think what is it you want from him, and vice-versa. Or you think “what the heck, it’s better than nothing”. Then you are in shithouse (read my posting on shithouse / taxi fare).
First time couples will of course find this dating business so euphoric and feel they are on top of the world. Seasoned ones will still feel good about it, but always with some caveats to their true feelings. Cynical partners will say “here we go again”. Timid ones will be full of doubts, just as the brave ones will think nothing of it at all.
So what should you do?
I can’t speak for everyone. One size doesn’t fit all. Some are slim and svelte, other are plain obese and flabby. But that is the point, isn’t it? You need to KNOW what you want out of it all, and what the OTHER person expects. But, take that step if you will, for you won’t know what lies ahead anyway. If you want to play it safe, then just sit at home and whine to all and sundry who wants to listen. Or go and live some life.
Dating is also the time you need to think a bit more seriously about the things you have been doing before he / she / they come along. And also the things you have to do from now on. If you are dating more than one person, then you have to let each one know of the existence of the other. It’s only fair. You’d want to know if that other person is also seeing someone else, right?
By the way, dating does NOT mean you’d be having sex. I mean, sex is optional. With ONS (or SNS) you screw more than you talk. With affairs, you get to at least hear his voice during conversations. But with dates, you finally see that he has two eyes, two ears, two hands, some brains, and perhaps (usually) two testicles. Sex is a bonus, not a right in dates.
(..to be continued..)
.
3) If he wants to start dating seriously-
This is where things can get a little bit sticky if you cannot / will not / do not handle it carefully. It’s definitely more than a casual affair, and obviously not an ONS (or SNS – several nite stands). You suddenly find yourself having to think what is it you want from him, and vice-versa. Or you think “what the heck, it’s better than nothing”. Then you are in shithouse (read my posting on shithouse / taxi fare).
First time couples will of course find this dating business so euphoric and feel they are on top of the world. Seasoned ones will still feel good about it, but always with some caveats to their true feelings. Cynical partners will say “here we go again”. Timid ones will be full of doubts, just as the brave ones will think nothing of it at all.
So what should you do?
I can’t speak for everyone. One size doesn’t fit all. Some are slim and svelte, other are plain obese and flabby. But that is the point, isn’t it? You need to KNOW what you want out of it all, and what the OTHER person expects. But, take that step if you will, for you won’t know what lies ahead anyway. If you want to play it safe, then just sit at home and whine to all and sundry who wants to listen. Or go and live some life.
Dating is also the time you need to think a bit more seriously about the things you have been doing before he / she / they come along. And also the things you have to do from now on. If you are dating more than one person, then you have to let each one know of the existence of the other. It’s only fair. You’d want to know if that other person is also seeing someone else, right?
By the way, dating does NOT mean you’d be having sex. I mean, sex is optional. With ONS (or SNS) you screw more than you talk. With affairs, you get to at least hear his voice during conversations. But with dates, you finally see that he has two eyes, two ears, two hands, some brains, and perhaps (usually) two testicles. Sex is a bonus, not a right in dates.
(..to be continued..)
.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I have absolutely no idea…. Part I
“You want to be a part of my life: I'm not editing out the parts you don't like.” – from Torchsong Trilogy
When you get to know someone and you gradually (or instantly) fall in love (or lust), there will come a point sooner (or later) that both of you want (or need) to discover a little (or a lot) of each other’s past. It’s only a natural progression in the relationship (or affair). All couples (or coupling pairs) would go through this, whether straight or bent (or in-between).
So how much do you tell?
There’s no real manual for this that you can refer to when in doubt. At least not that I know of. However from my own observations, there seem to be some fairly useable rules-of-thumb. I’ll summarise them as follows:-
1) If he’s only interested in ONS-
He will will ask where (or which online sites) do you go to pick up partners, and how often, and how successful you’ve been. Perhaps he’ll ask (on a pleasant hair day day) if the drinks there are any good. You needn’t tell the truth of course to all (or any) of the questions. Your non-committal answers (or lack thereof) will also imply that all you want is a quickie.
2) If he’s interested in an affair-
Probably he’ll want to know if you ever had a bf/gf/fb before. And if you did, he’ll want to know what happened to him/her/them. Again you can tell some of the truths, but it’s still optional. The pivotal point is if you do have a bf/gf/fb, you’ll have to decide whether you want an affair or just relegate it to just a quickie. That decision will shape your response. Usually its a lie, of course, since you’d want your cake and eat it to. Plus all the icing. If you are unattached or detached, then there isn’t much of a problem. Whatever your pre-existing status, this is where your answers form the basis of the affair, and how far it could go.
(..to be continued..)
.
When you get to know someone and you gradually (or instantly) fall in love (or lust), there will come a point sooner (or later) that both of you want (or need) to discover a little (or a lot) of each other’s past. It’s only a natural progression in the relationship (or affair). All couples (or coupling pairs) would go through this, whether straight or bent (or in-between).
So how much do you tell?
There’s no real manual for this that you can refer to when in doubt. At least not that I know of. However from my own observations, there seem to be some fairly useable rules-of-thumb. I’ll summarise them as follows:-
1) If he’s only interested in ONS-
He will will ask where (or which online sites) do you go to pick up partners, and how often, and how successful you’ve been. Perhaps he’ll ask (on a pleasant hair day day) if the drinks there are any good. You needn’t tell the truth of course to all (or any) of the questions. Your non-committal answers (or lack thereof) will also imply that all you want is a quickie.
2) If he’s interested in an affair-
Probably he’ll want to know if you ever had a bf/gf/fb before. And if you did, he’ll want to know what happened to him/her/them. Again you can tell some of the truths, but it’s still optional. The pivotal point is if you do have a bf/gf/fb, you’ll have to decide whether you want an affair or just relegate it to just a quickie. That decision will shape your response. Usually its a lie, of course, since you’d want your cake and eat it to. Plus all the icing. If you are unattached or detached, then there isn’t much of a problem. Whatever your pre-existing status, this is where your answers form the basis of the affair, and how far it could go.
(..to be continued..)
.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A weekend... in pictures
A ride on the new train
At Low Yat in the evening
An ice blended coffee
A novel to read
A teppanyaki restaurant
Beef teppanyaki
Bintang Walk
Bukit Bintang
Bukit Indah
At breakfast
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Saturday, February 20, 2010
Pictures from Melbourne...
I received these pictures from Edi yesterday. Captions are provided by Edi.
23oct2009
relaxing at the sun-room on my birthday. that night 01:00 (24th) had the heart attack. was admitted to box hill hospital that night.
relaxing at the sun-room on my birthday. that night 01:00 (24th) had the heart attack. was admitted to box hill hospital that night.
12dec2009
i was given permission to leave the ward to go grocery shppg with the occupational therapist at richmond (mainly chinese-vietnamese).
i was given permission to leave the ward to go grocery shppg with the occupational therapist at richmond (mainly chinese-vietnamese).
12dec2009.
picking out ginger. the price? from A$20-25 a kilo!!!!!!
picking out ginger. the price? from A$20-25 a kilo!!!!!!
12dec2009.
preparing to cook at the ward kitchen with her evaluating my mobility.
preparing to cook at the ward kitchen with her evaluating my mobility.
16dec2009.
pat after getting off the plane, was met by my sister and came to the hospital at 6pm. the next morning he went back to sydney alone on the train. originally, i was supposed to go together with him and spent my xmas and ny in sydney.
pat after getting off the plane, was met by my sister and came to the hospital at 6pm. the next morning he went back to sydney alone on the train. originally, i was supposed to go together with him and spent my xmas and ny in sydney.
22dec2009.
went back to the ICU to thank the nurses and doctors who took care of me during my 16days there.
went back to the ICU to thank the nurses and doctors who took care of me during my 16days there.
23dec2009.
the day of discharge. i was waiting at the lounge for my sister. she was at the immigration doing up my visa extention before the long holidays.
the day of discharge. i was waiting at the lounge for my sister. she was at the immigration doing up my visa extention before the long holidays.
27dec2009
outside the luna park at st kilda, a seaside resort very well planned. even though in summer, very windy and very chilly. we were all in cardigan.
outside the luna park at st kilda, a seaside resort very well planned. even though in summer, very windy and very chilly. we were all in cardigan.
27dec2009
at an open-air ice cream parlour. had my 1st ever ice cream in aust in that weather. i had pistachio and almond ice cream which was very, very nice.
at an open-air ice cream parlour. had my 1st ever ice cream in aust in that weather. i had pistachio and almond ice cream which was very, very nice.
17jan2010.
my niece, rachel's birthday dinner at a chinese restaurant. the boy is my nephew simon. the little girl is the daughter of alan (VMT), susan's bro-in-law.
my niece, rachel's birthday dinner at a chinese restaurant. the boy is my nephew simon. the little girl is the daughter of alan (VMT), susan's bro-in-law.
12feb2010.
chinese new year decor at my sister's place.
chinese new year decor at my sister's place.
15feb2010.
'buka' cny dinner at my brother's in-law's house. normally, the 'open' ny meal is bfst or lunch. but because everyone was working on that monday, so it was 'pushed' to dinner.
'buka' cny dinner at my brother's in-law's house. normally, the 'open' ny meal is bfst or lunch. but because everyone was working on that monday, so it was 'pushed' to dinner.
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Friday, February 19, 2010
I'm not a mere mouse....
From M.Jackson's song :-
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me
(you've got a friend in me)
Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go
(you've got a place to go)
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend) Like Ben
(like Ben) Like Ben
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Thursday, February 18, 2010
Oh my louis vuitton.... was this ever?
.
I know, I know.. Believe me, I KNOW, ok?
Wait till you see your OWN old pictures. Then tell me you didn't roll in your own discharges....
.
I know, I know.. Believe me, I KNOW, ok?
Wait till you see your OWN old pictures. Then tell me you didn't roll in your own discharges....
.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Brazen arrhythmia for Gong Xi Fa Cai..
.
“Give me a little heart and soul; must I beg you?”
With the halo of a minor miracle above my head, I managed to wash two loads of laundry without the machine protesting its over-used gears. I didn’t even trip on the uneven ground when I hung up the clothes. And back neighbour didn’t even snoop on me. The leftover mosquitoes attacked me though..
The wind-chime came down. My table was re-aligned. The side tables were cleared off its active clutter. I swept a portion of the floor. I even went out for a haircut at a barber nearby. I ate lunch at a restaurant and chanced upon the doctor who treated me. He shook my hand(?) and I shook my head later in disbelief..
I had a reunion meal of leftover kuah masak merah and fresh macaroni with my shadow. Nice and quiet. No clatter of plates and no inane chatter of tongues ever nothing. Masters Of Chants reverberated in my house at deafening volume : no neighbours around next door. Heck, I didn’t care, because I’m entitled to celebrate too..
Chatted with Lemon online for a bit. Always the nice boy who keeps my spirits up with his many cute repeks and antics. Had my usual cafe au lait and a bit of biscuits later. Recalled a Nicole Rieu song and posted the French lyrics with my own translation (horrendously naive I think)..
Had time enough to reflect upon many before’s and after’s. Had the audacity to jump to a few conclusions. And the mindful tenacity not to jump into bed with some illusions. I listened to my heart. Although the beatings were sometimes irregular, it is still my heart.
Then the tyger burning brightly in the forest of the night came by…
Be still, my beating heart.. gong xi… gong xi…
“Give me a little heart and soul; must I beg you?”
With the halo of a minor miracle above my head, I managed to wash two loads of laundry without the machine protesting its over-used gears. I didn’t even trip on the uneven ground when I hung up the clothes. And back neighbour didn’t even snoop on me. The leftover mosquitoes attacked me though..
The wind-chime came down. My table was re-aligned. The side tables were cleared off its active clutter. I swept a portion of the floor. I even went out for a haircut at a barber nearby. I ate lunch at a restaurant and chanced upon the doctor who treated me. He shook my hand(?) and I shook my head later in disbelief..
I had a reunion meal of leftover kuah masak merah and fresh macaroni with my shadow. Nice and quiet. No clatter of plates and no inane chatter of tongues ever nothing. Masters Of Chants reverberated in my house at deafening volume : no neighbours around next door. Heck, I didn’t care, because I’m entitled to celebrate too..
Chatted with Lemon online for a bit. Always the nice boy who keeps my spirits up with his many cute repeks and antics. Had my usual cafe au lait and a bit of biscuits later. Recalled a Nicole Rieu song and posted the French lyrics with my own translation (horrendously naive I think)..
Had time enough to reflect upon many before’s and after’s. Had the audacity to jump to a few conclusions. And the mindful tenacity not to jump into bed with some illusions. I listened to my heart. Although the beatings were sometimes irregular, it is still my heart.
Then the tyger burning brightly in the forest of the night came by…
Be still, my beating heart.. gong xi… gong xi…
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I am a bilingual illiterate....
.
Ils sont partis de la ville, de la ville, de la ville
Ils ont rompu les frontières de la Terre
Ils sont nés dans les ruines
Ils sont sortis de la poussière
Ils ont vu le ciel trembler
Et puis se sont levés
Ils sont partis de la ville, de la ville, de la ville
Ils ont rompu les frontières de la Terre
Ils ont vu trop de choses
Ils ont eu peur de faire des fils
Ils ont vu le ciel tomber
Et puis se sont levés
Ils sont partis de la ville, de la ville, de la ville
Ils ont rompu les frontières de la Terre
Ils sont plein de courage
Ils ont oublié leur couleur
Ils sont jeunes et plein d'espoir
Et moi je les suivrai demain
~Nicole Rieu~
"They left the city
They broke the borders of the Earth
They were born in the ruins
They left the dust
They saw the sky trembling
And then it rose..
They left the city
They broke the borders of the Earth
They saw too many things
They were afraid to make to the (barb) wire
They saw the sky falling
And then it rose..
They left the city
They broke the borders of the Earth
They are full with courage
They forgot their color
They are young and full of hope
And me, I will follow them tomorrow."
.
Ils sont partis de la ville, de la ville, de la ville
Ils ont rompu les frontières de la Terre
Ils sont nés dans les ruines
Ils sont sortis de la poussière
Ils ont vu le ciel trembler
Et puis se sont levés
Ils sont partis de la ville, de la ville, de la ville
Ils ont rompu les frontières de la Terre
Ils ont vu trop de choses
Ils ont eu peur de faire des fils
Ils ont vu le ciel tomber
Et puis se sont levés
Ils sont partis de la ville, de la ville, de la ville
Ils ont rompu les frontières de la Terre
Ils sont plein de courage
Ils ont oublié leur couleur
Ils sont jeunes et plein d'espoir
Et moi je les suivrai demain
~Nicole Rieu~
"They left the city
They broke the borders of the Earth
They were born in the ruins
They left the dust
They saw the sky trembling
And then it rose..
They left the city
They broke the borders of the Earth
They saw too many things
They were afraid to make to the (barb) wire
They saw the sky falling
And then it rose..
They left the city
They broke the borders of the Earth
They are full with courage
They forgot their color
They are young and full of hope
And me, I will follow them tomorrow."
.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
And the tygers came at night….. (pre-CNY)
.
They say time slips by.
But it will only slip through your fingers if your palms are greasy to begin with. Therefore you need a firm dry hold in order not to let time slip by and then you “melatah” as if you dropped something.
Don’t you wish it was that easy?
The past two weeks or so did slip by so fast. Too many things to do and so little time. Too many thoughts and so little resolutions. Too much wooziness and not enough recovery. Too many calls and too little news. Too much info and so little usefulness..
Well, soon enough the Year of the Tiger will be here. I will miss the quiet reunion meal that I’ve been having with my “family”. For the first time in the last 30 years or so, Edi will not be here for CNY. But I hope he will enjoy the reunion with his brother and sister in Melbourne. I take joy in the fact that at least he will be with his real blood and flesh family.
As for me, I suddenly realised that my small circle of friends and acquaintances has actually grown a bit more in the last 5 months. I hope they can be good friends for the long haul, and not just “hi & bye” for whatever reasons. But I suppose friendship in whatever form is better than having enemies. I shall hope for the best in this new year with the tigers.
One of my friends say that I am walking on thin ice. I hope not. I’ve got rid of excess baggage, (bags under my eyes aren’t considered as excess baggage) so I guess I’m lighter. But then again, I’ll never know until I crashed through, would I?
Not sure yet what my plans would be for this coming CNY. But I want to wish all my friends who are going home, to have a safe and pleasant journey.
.
They say time slips by.
But it will only slip through your fingers if your palms are greasy to begin with. Therefore you need a firm dry hold in order not to let time slip by and then you “melatah” as if you dropped something.
Don’t you wish it was that easy?
The past two weeks or so did slip by so fast. Too many things to do and so little time. Too many thoughts and so little resolutions. Too much wooziness and not enough recovery. Too many calls and too little news. Too much info and so little usefulness..
Well, soon enough the Year of the Tiger will be here. I will miss the quiet reunion meal that I’ve been having with my “family”. For the first time in the last 30 years or so, Edi will not be here for CNY. But I hope he will enjoy the reunion with his brother and sister in Melbourne. I take joy in the fact that at least he will be with his real blood and flesh family.
As for me, I suddenly realised that my small circle of friends and acquaintances has actually grown a bit more in the last 5 months. I hope they can be good friends for the long haul, and not just “hi & bye” for whatever reasons. But I suppose friendship in whatever form is better than having enemies. I shall hope for the best in this new year with the tigers.
One of my friends say that I am walking on thin ice. I hope not. I’ve got rid of excess baggage, (bags under my eyes aren’t considered as excess baggage) so I guess I’m lighter. But then again, I’ll never know until I crashed through, would I?
Not sure yet what my plans would be for this coming CNY. But I want to wish all my friends who are going home, to have a safe and pleasant journey.
.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Before… and after…
The night before
The morning after
The contemplation
Just those three pictures. I think it will tell my story.
You make up the situation along the way.
I shan’t say anything more.
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